Sunday, February 23, 2014

(Mach 1) Production Design + Script

“Wake Up, Willie!”

Act One
Exposition: (Aerial view) It is a cold morning in midtown Wallington, and the commuters are now out in force. The camera lowers and tracks into a second floor apartment window, on a building separated from the major thoroughfare by three-and-a-half feet of cement sidewalk.
MS: Enter a bedroom. Wilhona is half-asleep, the cover drawn partially over her head. CU: She reaches groggily for her cell phone, which is atop the nightstand next to the head of the bed, grabs it and turns off the alarm lazily; it is 7:00 a.m. Then she lays it next to her, turns over, and appears to snooze.
Track into the next room. CU: Melaney sits up on the side of her bed, still in her pajamas, wearing a slightly annoyed, deliberating look. She has been awake since 6:30 a.m., but was reluctant to arise and lay there for about 15 additional minutes before rising.
ECU: Melaney looks pensive now; she glances at her worktable, which is coated in books, papers, and Time magazines. If she goes to use the restroom now, there is a chance that Wilhona will finally get up to do the same, and then she would be in Wilhona’s way, but, if she sits there and waits, there is the chance that Wilhona will not get up, and then she will have lost time. Soon after contemplating this, she hears Wilhona arise and step heavily onto the wooden floor. 7:08 a.m.--too late. Melaney decides to organize her desk and make sure she has all her materials for class that day. She also fixes a bowl of cereal and eats it while she waits for Willie to finish in the bathroom.
                    Mel hears Willie emerge buts waits about 5 more minutes to make sure she’s really done. Mel has learned that it is not a good idea to talk to Willie the first 30 minutes after she’s gotten up in the morning. It is now 7:42 a.m. If Mel works quickly, she can bathe and get dressed in 20 minutes, which will still give her enough time to catch the bus.
30 minutes later. Mel is rushing to the bus stop, hoping with all hope that the bus hasn’t left yet. She arrives, and, lo and behold, the bus has just pulled off. She tries to flag it down, but it is too late. She has to walk to the college, which will make her at least 15 minutes late for class, depending on traffic and weather conditions. Damn.
                   
Act Two
Evening. Melaney is exhausted and looks troubled. Wilhona comes in, puts her stuff away and heads to the kitchen. It is 9:00 p.m. Fortunately, Mel has already eaten dinner at the college earlier, but it sounds and smells like Willie is using the oven and the range to cook, which means she’ll be in the kitchen for an hour or so. Mel’s room leads into the kitchen, which means that Willie has to cross Mel’s space every time she leaves her own room. It wouldn’t bother Mel, except, since Willie likes fresh dinners, she cooks every day, and she eats snacks throughout the day, which means she has to parade through Mel’s space many times a day. In addition, Willie does her dishes, but usually not until the next morning, depending on her own workload. Melaney tries to go to bed about 10:00 p.m., so she will be more likely to get up earlier and use the bathroom before Wilhona does. Willie is still going between her room and the kitchen after 10 o’clock, and she also has her music playing aloud in her room, while she does her homework. And then there are the neighbors. Tonight, they have decided to enjoy themselves…loudly. Eventually Melaney drowns the noise out and falls asleep. Or, maybe she fell asleep in spite of the noise, thus drowning it out.
The next morning. Today is a day off for Melaney, meaning she can focus on a couple of homework assignments. She also has to do some cleaning and organizing. Wilhona has class this morning, and her alarm has gone off, but she’s still in bed. Melaney goes to the kitchen and gets one of Willie’s oranges. (Willie grabs a piece of fruit to eat on her way to school each morning). Mel eases the doors to Willie’s room open. She sees Willie curled up in her covers like a cat lying on its side. Mel takes aim, hesitates, and then shoots. Score! Willie clutches her stomach and discovers the orange. Mel is standing in the doorway, waiting for Willie’s initial reaction. Then Mel closes the door and goes on about her business as Willie angrily complains about being awoken thus.
The next day. Melaney is at the school and has classes most of the day. Willie also has class, but she will arrive home before Mel does, and most likely, take a nap, as is her custom. Mel pours tiredly over an ArtForum issue in the college library. As much as Mel enjoys attending the Grandwall Academy of Arts, the workload can be downright taxing sometimes. Mel generally prefers the literature and history portions of work to some of the studio work, particularly to the studio work that requires her to remain at the school long hours to make use of the studio. At least that’s not necessary with drawing work. Mel is in angst because she didn’t get around to studying as much for a recent art history test as she would have liked to. She was confident about most of the facts, but she knew some of the dates were off. What irks her even more is that she miraculously managed to be late for one of her studio classes for the third time, this week; not only does a tardy count against the final grade, but two more, and Mel risks failing the class, a sculpture class in which she is struggling with completion of projects. It’s not that Melaney is lazy or a poor student. She is a good student, and in fact has the potential to be an excellent student in all her classes. Unfortunately, she often second-guesses her own capabilities to the point that it slows her work speed or causes her to start late. She has been quite disheartened lately with her performance, tardiness, and lack of confidence about soon having to face “the real world,” especially the artistic one.
Another long day at Grandwall. Melaney now has two papers due in two weeks and a major sculpture project due in less than one. The sculpture assignment was given last week, but Mel just didn’t take as much time as she could have to work on it—something she easily sees with the benefit of hindsight. Now she has twice as much work to do for the next couple of weeks and she can’t find a ride to the art supply store, which is three miles away. Naturally, there would not be a bus route in that direction. Wilhona sometimes struggles with getting up in the morning, and she chooses to stay up late at night working on homework while watching shows or listening to music. But to Melaney, Wilhona seems to be all right overall. One thing Mel hates is when Willie comes in with a good or neutral mood and asks her how her day has been, when she thinks that it’s apparent that she’s not in the mood for talking.
The following morning is chilly and rainy and Melaney is racing through the elements to catch the city bus. How could she have overslept! Why didn’t she force herself out of bed? Roll onto the floor? Mel commonly risks Willie’s wrath by waking her when she knows Willie has class that day; why didn’t Willie do the same? Mel rounds the curb and, shit, the bus is leaving. Mel runs alongside for several meters, yelling, but it doesn’t slow down. Damn it! Mel has to walk the four blocks to the college in the wind and rain, with a lot of luggage for today’s class, in 20 minutes. Plus Grandwall is on the other side of the major street on which she and Willie live, and the traffic is terrible. Mel frantically gaits to the school, dashing when possible, pushing through her fatigue and discomfort, praying that no weirdo bothers her or that she doesn’t get hit by a skidding vehicle.

Act Three
Over the weekend. Melaney goes to the school library on Saturday to get out of the apartment. She expects Wilhona to be there all day, and she does not feel like overhearing Willie’s music, listening to the clanging and clattering of pots and pans, being disturbed by outbursts of Willie’s laughter or talking. It’s comfortable inside today, and there are not a lot of students at the school, so Mel may work in relative peace. Mel has accepted that her sculpture project will not be up to par given the time she has left, so she focuses on researching for the paper that’s due sooner. As she works, Mel finds that she is enjoying her work.
In the evening. It is 5:30 p.m. Melaney gets ready to go home, realizing that she has gotten a lot more accomplished than she thought she would. Not only did she finish a first draft of the paper that’s due first, but she also found all her sources for her second paper. Mel feels like she can go home and rightfully relax.
Two days later, at Grandwall. It’s the moment of truth—the day the sculpture project is due, critique included. Mel is nervous about her turn, but she did the best she could with the supplies she had and the time she had left.
                    It’s Melaney’s turn. She folds her lips inward and looks ahead, expecting the worst. Instead of tearing it apart, her classmates had more positive reviews than negative. Although there are things that could be improved, Mel’s end result actually achieves the criteria set for the project successfully, much to her surprise.
Later that day. Melaney is home now, and she falls backward onto her bed contentedly. The angst that had stiffened her shoulders and painted her brow had faded. Melaney realized that even though her work was not as fancy as some of her other classmates, it stood up well in its own right. Plus, she had discovered that doing the papers wasn’t as tough as she had feared. Now Mel is able to sleep better, and from that ordeal forward, she has begun to build more self-confidence, and now she makes sure that she catches that danged bus to the college each day.


 
(Above) View of Melanie's Room as it leads into kitchen. (Below) Kitchen

Corner of Wallington Heights, intersection



Melanie's Room

Wilhona's Room



Critique it "as is"; this is not the final version, and there is a color palette for it (the swatch box in the previous post). Don't judge me.







5 comments:

  1. You're story development seems to be coming along. What I'm seeing though is the very real danger of "over developing" the narrative. In screenwriting, whatever is written in the descriptive text MUST BE SEEN. As a director, you take the writer's description of the world and actions the players undertake and give them form. Reading your plot breakdown, I'm getting way too much information. For example, in Act Two you write, "Mel generally prefers the literature and history portions of work to some of the studio work, particularly to the studio work that requires her to remain at the school long hours to make use of the studio." Are you literally going to have a cue card on screen that describes Mel this way? A good chunk of your synopsis could be relegated to sub-text. As director, you can take the information in your story and portray it visually - through your storyboards, character designs, layout etc - in the execution. Don't worry about getting all the little details down pat, focus on the structure and flow of your narrative and knowing the details of your characters will be expressed in how they act.

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  2. My mind is spinning a little bit from all the information in the story. I feel like we're being told a lot of unnecessary information. It might be useful information for you, since you're developing the characters, but it isn't relevant to the viewer. Like Phil said, how will we know that Mel prefers the literature and history portions of work to some of the studio work? That is a very difficult and small detail to actually show us.

    I like where the environments and characters are going, but they still feel unfinished and more like sketches. I'm also a little worried about how realistic the characters are. I know that I would definitely have a hard time keeping them on model.

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  3. To keep from repeating what has been said in the above comments, I'll just agree. The story needs to be simplified and edited so that it flows more and is tighter. The sketches look nice and you seem to know what you want, but it may be hard to animate them that detailed. Like your story, I would simplify those as well.

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  4. I like the direction of the story but your screen play should be written in a way where you can direct your characters actions rather than their back stories.
    i agree with Phil
    I don't want to reiterate what has already been said.
    you have everything there to tell the story, but we only need to know what the movements,dialogue and actions are.

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  5. i agree with will about your screen play i would like to know the direction in which your characters action, but the but story are a nice touch. Even though your have drawn out your environments; i enjoy seeing you photoshop skills and your color palette for them

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